From: Why me to Finding me
Hello, and Happy New Year everyone.
How did you celebrate your New Year?
I waited for midnight to strike from the comfort of our home, with my daughter and husband. We lit some sparklers and headed off to bed. We don’t do the big party on the night and I think it is from being conditioned over the last 17 years to get as much sleep as possible. We were used to going to bed early so we can function when the little ones used to wake us.
But alas, our children are sleepy teenagers and we no longer wake in the early morning to attend to them. We love our quiet simple New Year’s evening celebration to bring in the new year of hope and promise.
I love the opportunity to reflect on the year that was and set our goals for the coming year. For me, my focus in 2019 is going to be about being more open. Stemming from my previously learnt behaviour of keeping to myself, I wanted to open up and share a little of me with you.
In essence, I just love the simple things in life. My family, my friends and making memories to share in the years to come. My circle of loved ones fills my cup and I have realised I don’t need a lot of people in my circle to feel content. I don’t like clutter as it just overwhelms my mind and I struggle to function. Reflecting on my year, I can confidently say that I am comfortable with who I am, how I look, my body type and where I am in my life. I have learnt not to stress and dwell about what is coming. It sounds quite simple, but it is a lifelong realisation. And a powerful one.
I think my approach to dealing with challenges and not letting them absorb me, has hailed from experiencing traumatic life events. A huge challenge in my life occurred a decade ago, when I was involved in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. The impact of this event had an immense impact on my life. I lost my speech. That was completely life altering.
It was like the link between my thoughts and vocal cords were broken. The effect was that I hid away from the world and refused to speak. It was confronting and desperately isolating. When I did try to speak it was a terrible stutter, something I had never experienced before. I also lost access to my memory bank or learnt words. I would have to concentrate extremely hard to try and remember the word I needed or find another to take its place which was in the context of my discussion. I was so frustrated and broken.
I endured 18 months of speech therapy to re-learn how to speak without a stutter and try to fix the broken vocabulary pathways in my brain. I still struggle from time to time but this will not stop me from talking to people, talking to you. Telling my story is empowering and I want to share it with you.
We may feel like we will never get through the tough times, it may be a long road with therapy, medical assistance and finding confidence again. Asking for help is the hardest thing we can ever do but it is the best thing that you can ever do for yourself. It was a tough way to learn these life lessons but it certainly shaped who I am today. Who I am incredibly proud of!
It took a lot of confidence to speak with people again. I had lost my articulated language skills for a while and I stumble with explaining ideas from my memory and translating them to speech. But overcoming this trauma helped me make a huge leap of faith.
I took a leap of faith to open my world of photography to you. Making this decision has helped me to be more confident. I am not worried about what people think. I am happy in my skin. I love the life I have created. I love helping my clients and I love making them comfortable. I love getting them to relax and show them that we can have fun, even if it is outside our comfort bubble. Whilst everything we do out of our comfort bubble doesn’t always end up being a life-defining moment, it certainly is a step towards us growing.
As the promise of a new year is open, reflect on your challenges and be thankful for them. Because it might just be the catalyst for an amazing adventure of self-growth and discovery.
Best wishes for a fulfilling 2019.